One of the biggest hindrances in a collaborative divorce often comes when one party requests to move away from the residential state. During a relocation there is usually a reasonable reason for the move, such as a new spouse, new career, or to reside near family.
Take for example a true scenario of Joe and his family. In the case of Joe, his ex asked to relocate to a different state so that she would be close to family. Joe was feeling guilty, he was feeling overwhelmed, and he was feeling this might help them all get over the breakup of the family. In retrospect, this was a major error in Joe’s judgement.
Joe attempted to provide his kids with a sense of comfort, and provide his ex with a positive support system that she was in need of. Instead this worked against Joe and become a major challenge. His ex moved from their home state of New Jersey to Massachusetts. Her family was there and this was supposed to be good for everyone involved. At first when Joe had his visitation with his children, he would travel the four or so hours to his ex’s new home, and he would stay there with their children. He thought that keeping to a normal routine would work for his children. His ex-wife stayed with friends or family during his visits, and at a certain point she started dating and began staying with her new boyfriend. This is where all heck broke loose.
Although Joe admitted the original agreement was less than traditional, it worked for his family. However, once the boyfriend made his debut, there were new hurdles to jump. The visitation agreement was no longer an option and Joe had to quickly find new accomodations. Now Joe had to drive a great distance to visit his kids and then figure out what they would do during his stay instead of relaxing in the family home. In turn, during multi-day visitations, Joe had to worry about where to sleep and address the added expenses. As all parties currently going through a divorce know, money is always an issue.
According to the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) if one parent takes the children into another state and with intent to set up home resides there for a minimum of six months, then residence is established there. The UCCJEA requires that all further actions be heard in the new state of residence.
The moral of the story is it is impossible to predict what issues will come up later in a divorce. Because of this it is vital parents establish an equal playing ground to work through their problems.
