Comments on: How does divorce harm children? http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/ Specializing in information on divorce support groups, divorce counseling and other divorce support resources. Fri, 16 Apr 2010 20:09:29 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 By: leahazgrl http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-536 leahazgrl Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:51:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-536 i had to make a decsion which was worst for my kids the disaster of my marriage or divorce i chose divorce i feel my children have adjusted well they are 7,6,4 i have made a strong effort to get along with my ex, he and i take the kids to do things together and are both at important events im know its not ideal but i didnt want them to learn that that was the way a marriage should be or that thats how people should treat others or allow themselves to be treated i hope that helps<br><b>References : </b><br> i had to make a decsion which was worst for my kids the disaster of my marriage or divorce
i chose divorce i feel my children have adjusted well they are 7,6,4
i have made a strong effort to get along with my ex, he and i take the kids to do things together and are both at important events
im know its not ideal but i didnt want them to learn that that was the way a marriage should be or that thats how people should treat others or allow themselves to be treated i hope that helps
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]]> By: dance_chica_2005 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-535 dance_chica_2005 Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:40:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-535 it depends on how the divorce is. my parents were fairly civil to each other, and that was okay, for a while. but after a year or two or my dad still hanging around all the time, i began to think that maybe they were going to get back together, which was really hard when the realization came that that was never going to happen. if parents are nasty to each other in communication that is no good either. then the child feels abandoned by both and life is never normal at all for them. another word of caution: if you are getting divorced i would never bad mouth your ex-spouse to your child, this will cause them to eventually resent you and never want to be around you. now i am, all children from divorced parents will eventually be okay, it would be worse to stay together and fight all the time, trust me. it even helped me in some respects: i know that my parents never really loved one another so when i got married it was for love, and i am determined never to divorce i know how kids take it when they are young, i would never want to put my children through it.<br><b>References : </b><br>my parents are divorced since i was 8 i am 19 now, and i am just fine it depends on how the divorce is. my parents were fairly civil to each other, and that was okay, for a while. but after a year or two or my dad still hanging around all the time, i began to think that maybe they were going to get back together, which was really hard when the realization came that that was never going to happen. if parents are nasty to each other in communication that is no good either. then the child feels abandoned by both and life is never normal at all for them. another word of caution: if you are getting divorced i would never bad mouth your ex-spouse to your child, this will cause them to eventually resent you and never want to be around you. now i am, all children from divorced parents will eventually be okay, it would be worse to stay together and fight all the time, trust me. it even helped me in some respects: i know that my parents never really loved one another so when i got married it was for love, and i am determined never to divorce i know how kids take it when they are young, i would never want to put my children through it.
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my parents are divorced since i was 8 i am 19 now, and i am just fine

]]> By: winsumloossum http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-534 winsumloossum Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:00:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-534 Divorce creates anger, feelings of rejections and instability in children. Secondarily, parents dating and remarrying can create a whole different level of struggle way too frequently coupled with abuse. Rutgers University professor David Popenoe has done a lot of studying on these issues.<br><b>References : </b><br>http://www.pbs.org/newshour/gergen/popenoe.html http://marriage.rutgers.edu/codirectors.htm Divorce creates anger, feelings of rejections and instability in children. Secondarily, parents dating and remarrying can create a whole different level of struggle way too frequently coupled with abuse. Rutgers University professor David Popenoe has done a lot of studying on these issues.
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http://www.pbs.org/newshour/gergen/popenoe.html
http://marriage.rutgers.edu/codirectors.htm

]]> By: Loss Leader http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-533 Loss Leader Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:41:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-533 Divorce doesn't harm children - a lack of security and a lack of a good examples of problem solving harm children. When divorcing, it is important that the parents demonstrate that they are mature, logical and dedicated partners in parenting and decision-making. They should demonstrate cooperation and respect. Although divorce is necessarily a time of upheaval, parents should strive to create routines for their children and keep to them. Visitation should be regular and ordinary. Bedtimes should not vary. The child's freedoms should not vary. These tips will allow children to keep a firm base under them as they grow and explore their own identity. And remember, whatever the harm divorce may do to children in the short term, it is dwarfed by the harm that exposure to an unhappy marriage will do to them year after year.<br><b>References : </b><br> Divorce doesn’t harm children – a lack of security and a lack of a good examples of problem solving harm children.

When divorcing, it is important that the parents demonstrate that they are mature, logical and dedicated partners in parenting and decision-making. They should demonstrate cooperation and respect.

Although divorce is necessarily a time of upheaval, parents should strive to create routines for their children and keep to them. Visitation should be regular and ordinary. Bedtimes should not vary. The child’s freedoms should not vary.

These tips will allow children to keep a firm base under them as they grow and explore their own identity.

And remember, whatever the harm divorce may do to children in the short term, it is dwarfed by the harm that exposure to an unhappy marriage will do to them year after year.
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]]> By: Richard http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-532 Richard Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:53:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-532 It does have an effect, but sometimes the harm done is very much less than living with parents who do not love each other and do not get along. Constant fighting and emotional turmoil is probably far worse than the divorce and separation. If this is something happening to you or your children, please see a sociologist or child psychologist for a consultation. Some children have very few problems, some have many. This is best dealt with by someone knowledgeable and yet not involved. The kids must understand that they are not at fault and that they could not have done anything to prevent it.<br><b>References : </b><br> It does have an effect, but sometimes the harm done is very much less than living with parents who do not love each other and do not get along. Constant fighting and emotional turmoil is probably far worse than the divorce and separation.
If this is something happening to you or your children, please see a sociologist or child psychologist for a consultation. Some children have very few problems, some have many. This is best dealt with by someone knowledgeable and yet not involved. The kids must understand that they are not at fault and that they could not have done anything to prevent it.
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]]> By: sweety http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-531 sweety Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:46:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-531 Children cannot cope with divorce at all. Im sorry to say this. Children are so sensitive. They observe us so deeply that we often fail to notice. Even when parents have an argument, it affects the child, but in many cases the parents might be unaware of it. It affects them mentally. The affected children are depression. To get cured of their depression they try to take drugs, alcohol and indulge in sex at a very early age. There is nothing that can replace good parents for a child...and Im sure they wont b able to cope up with it. It would have left them with a deep scar in their heart already!!<br><b>References : </b><br> Children cannot cope with divorce at all. Im sorry to say this. Children are so sensitive. They observe us so deeply that we often fail to notice. Even when parents have an argument, it affects the child, but in many cases the parents might be unaware of it. It affects them mentally. The affected children are depression. To get cured of their depression they try to take drugs, alcohol and indulge in sex at a very early age. There is nothing that can replace good parents for a child…and Im sure they wont b able to cope up with it. It would have left them with a deep scar in their heart already!!
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]]> By: at a loss http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/comment-page-1/#comment-530 at a loss Sat, 03 Oct 2009 15:16:59 +0000 http://www.divorcesupportgroupsblog.com/150/how-does-divorce-harm-children/#comment-530 I think that it harms them because ultimately they are going to feel like they are in the middle. It's easier to play the parents against each other because there is not as open line of communication between parents as there should be. There can be an underlaying anger in the children (my 8 yr old) or they can bottle up their feelings (my 11 yr old) because they don't want to hurt either parents feelings. I wish I had put my kids in some kind of counseling earlier than I did. Atleast then they would have had someone else other than me telling them its not their fault.<br><b>References : </b><br> I think that it harms them because ultimately they are going to feel like they are in the middle. It’s easier to play the parents against each other because there is not as open line of communication between parents as there should be. There can be an underlaying anger in the children (my 8 yr old) or they can bottle up their feelings (my 11 yr old) because they don’t want to hurt either parents feelings. I wish I had put my kids in some kind of counseling earlier than I did. Atleast then they would have had someone else other than me telling them its not their fault.
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