By: DropTopAle

DropTopAle — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:19:59 +0000

I grew up with divorced parents, I don't think it's the actual divorce in my situation it's how the parents act. Mine were very immature talking horrible about one another, then come the step-parents they can usually manage to screw up what the parents haven't. As long as you go about it in a mature way, and think of your children not of yourself . Never ever pick a boyfriend over your child (emotionally damaging). And if you do find a great stepfather for kids make sure you are involved in all disciplinary actions. I lost a lot of respect for my mother because of divorce and stepparent issues. Also, if you do try to stay together for the sake of your children you both better straighten up, no one wants to grow up in a house where mom and dad are fighting all the time. You sound like your on the right track already, wish you the best of luck .
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By: Pearl N

Pearl N — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:10:59 +0000

The most important thing is your children, I left the falther of my children because there was abuse and we just did not get along. It was very hard to do even with the abuse because in my mind I truly believed the falther and mother should stay together fo the sake of the children, but when my children started asking me why we couldn’t move into an empty house down the street (they were only 4yrs old and six at the time I then realized that no matter what I believed my children were not happy. So I left and my sons to this day recall the abuse and fear we lived in. They have told me that they often think that if I would have stayed in that relationship they would have turned into really wild angry men. So my choice was right. Also even though it was very hard for me I never called him down to my children, they at that young age had already formed their own opinion and I certainly didn’t need to add fuel to the fire. I’m so glad that I didn’t because my ex has changed alot and he regrets his behavior very much and he is now getting closer to his sons this is twenty years later. And I’m pleased that they email and visit occasionally. We were not happy together it changed him and made us all unhappy. If your’e not happy together but can show enough respect and love for your children to not call each other down your children will grow up much happier and healthier, mentally healthier as well. It was an emotional decision but the right one and we are grateful for it now. My sons respect me, love me and know I did the right thing that has given us a strong bond that will never go away. Never involve your children in any angry tirades about your spouse treat your spouse (ex) maybe with respect around your children. The only time to keep your children away from a spouse is if you know he will abuse them mentally or physically but to me it doesn’t sound like that’s an issue for you. You are already separated if he’s moved to another country. So if I were you I would start over and be happy, being happy and living a happy,content live with your child or children is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your children. My heart goes out to you, all the best and good luck, live a good and honest life always.
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Comments on: What is the impact of divorce on children and what can be done to minimize it. Can you share your experience?

By: DropTopAle

By: Pearl N